WE WELCOME EVERYONE*

Pietro: There's this lovely, self-identified coven of dykes who run a cafe near me. It's the closest cafe to where I live and I go there all the time.

Quinn: Nice. How's the espresso?

Pietro: Serviceable. Their microfoam could use some work.

Quinn: Okay.

Pietro: And they need better snacks. But you can't be that picky in this town. They have outlets for folks, so what more can you ask for?

Quinn: That's funny. Places really don't do power, do they. It's weird.

Pietro: It is weird. Power is relevant, here. Aside from being close they also have power so the draw for me couldn't really be any stronger. And any time I go there I sit with a laptop for a few hours.

Quinn: Okay.

Pietro: But here's the deal. Nearly every time I'm there an individual or group sits across from me, settling in underneath a prominent sign telling us that this is a safe space. You've seen these. They're pretty ubiquitous in this part of the world. Like a "no smoking" sign or a "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign, it asserts that this is a maximally inclusive space—

Quinn: I know them well.

Pietro: —welcoming to: "all sexes and genders, all colours and races and religions, and all languages, abilities, and ages."

Quinn: What are they even saying? Something like, what, "Unlike your bank, post office, or community centre, the neighbourhood sex shop, thrift store, weed dispensary, and needle exchange we are not formally endorsing outward expressions of egregious bigotry"? How novel and heroic. "Unlike the grocery store or gas station, we will serve Mexicans and Malaysians." Is that what they're saying? Is that the world they think they live in? In downtown Victoria, BC, Canada in 2026? What is the statement, exactly?

Pietro: Well, that's my whole story.

Quinn: Sorry. Go on.

Pietro: I've been there maybe 100 times—

Quinn: That's a lot!

Pietro: Probably 80 to 100 times—

Quinn: That's a lot. No homeownership for you!

Pietro: They don't do avocado toast.

Quinn: The lattes alone!

Pietro: I don't get a latte. But, as I was saying—

Quinn: Sorry.

Pietro: —an individual or large group will almost inevitably alight below the inclusivity, anti-bigotry sign and then proceed to express to the whole room, either in the form of a one-sided phone call or a whole group dialogue, just how welcome they feel to freely, gleefully even, pronounce their bigotry.

Quinn: Whoa. Like what? What are we talking about?

Pietro: I haven't made a list. I haven't been taking notes or recording conversations. But you can imagine. Any one conversation will at least hit: Jews, Israelis, Zionists, anyone they label as "defending" any of those; men, middle-aged men, white men, cis men... on and on they go.

Quinn: So, the usual.

Pietro: Well, the point being: that's the whole fucking poster. You've been here just 45 minutes and you haven't left category untouched or, at least—

Quinn: Right. They've not kept their public bigotry to one discrete identity but hit everything on the map.

Pietro: Yeah. As if over enemy territory, they felt they had license to unleash their verbal cluster munitions. They carefully carpet bomb any and all categories of person. And then make a second and third pass, just to be sure the whole target area has been thoroughly covered.

Quinn: While, perhaps, trying to avoid friendly fire where possible.

Pietro: Not really. The collateral damage is real.

Quinn: For real. And just imagine what happens when they're not in public? Or when you aren't sitting there?

Pietro: I can't even.

Quinn: And what are they silently typing on their computers?

Pietro: Yes. Right under the "We Welcome Everyone" sign.

Quinn: It is funny. You have to admit.

Pietro: It is funny. Here's an example. The other day it was someone and their friends, these are 20- or 30-somethings, and they were saying how they love their work, their workplace, and their coworkers — well, except for this one person. Then they spell out how this person has the wrong genitals and skin colour and age and, well, probably holds the wrong beliefs, too. And then they get into how the staff are conspiring to get this person fired so they don't have to encounter any wrong-think or wrong-skin or wrong-sex or wrong-sexuality or wrong-age in their place of work and their lives will then be perfect.

Quinn: But that's not novel or interesting in any sense.

Pietro: I think that's what I'm saying. Isn't it? Yeah. Those are not outliers or crazy people and what they offer is heard everywhere.

Quinn: I hear ya. Those are your neighbours.

Pietro: And it wasn't like someone dropping a racial slur once while in conversation with their friend on the bus, or something. It was, like, a loud, 20-minute conversation just five feet from me and with no one else in the room. They understood that I was fully part of their conversation. And it was so loud and expressive I felt like I was the intended audience. I just eventually started laughing aloud, while looking at my laptop monitor. Eventually, me: looks up at the poster then looks down at them, looks up at the poster then looks down at them... It was like a sitcom or late-night skit.

Quinn: You're noting that they weren't expressing, publicly, loudly, their annoyance with, or perhaps offence at, Carl or Miguel, an individual, but with whole classes of people. And that this is the norm.

Pietro: Too, they weren't expressing dismay at an individual's behaviour, either. That may have been implicit but it was never stated. It seemed clear that an externally imposed membership in a cohort (them labelling this guy) pre-determined not mere outgroup status (they would never consider him a friend or invite him to dinner) but designation for banishment. They weren't expressing annoyance that they occasionally had to be in proximity to this vile degenerate—

Quinn: This literal untermenschen.

Pietro: Yeah, exactly, a literal untermenschen... It's not that they struggle to get along with their colleague or regularly have conversations that challenge their core beliefs but, as they see it, in their world, not only should they not have any such conversation but this person simply shouldn't have employment; and, luckily, they're positioned to take things into their own hands and see that that is so.

Quinn: Wild. But that probably happens everywhere. I mean, what do you think happens in the English department?

Pietro: Sure. But I'm not complaining about this being the norm in certain workplaces or even broader society but that this overt bigotry resides especially in those places where they've taken the time to label the space or building or entire institution as uniquely devoid of such things. That's pure psychosis, to me.

Quinn: This is the self-identified "WE LOVE EVERYONE" community in the designated "WE LOVE EVERYONE" space being, like, "Fuck those people."

Pietro: "And these people, and these people, and, oh, those people over there. Fuck half of society, in fact. Really, anyone who doesn't look and sound like me. Fuck 'em."

Quinn: I see that.

Pietro: I mean, it's like calling your restaurant All Vegan Delights or something but then everything on the menu is authentic poutine and Montreal smoked meats; and their unique take on the dining experience is carving the meat and dressing the fries in beef gravy right at your table.

Quinn: The contradiction or hypocrisy bothers you.

Pietro: Just take down the damn poster. Just stop pretending you're out here saving the world or even doing so little as defending your stated beliefs.

Quinn: Right. They need to be vigilant about nipping this stuff in the bud, closely police everyone's speech and behaviour, or stop pretending. I get it. But have you ever complained?

Pietro: It's not the staff. It's not the baristas or the owners. And I'm not wanting to control anyone's speech. I'm not even slightly upset by hearing all this, all the time, everywhere. If anything it's funny and makes the folks doing it look silly, dumb really.

Quinn: Right. They're not going to hush anyone or kick anyone out on their own volition and you're not asking for that.

Pietro: Well, I'm also certain these are their beliefs as well. These are probably their friends or family members. And I'm certain they've heard all this as I have. And more, probably. That's the problem. They either don't even notice or they don't care. Why? Precisely because they don't even hold these principles to uphold them, the ones on their poster stating their principles. So why the poster?

Quinn: The poster really means the opposite of what is says. Which is why it annoys you.

Pietro: The exact opposite of what it says. And, worse, everyone is self-trained to go along, to understand and enact the reversal, not merely grok that the signage means "DO NONE OF THIS" and not what it says which is "DO ALL OF THIS".

Quinn: And, critically, to not question it. Right. We've all just come to accept that those endorsing this message, of clear bigotry, include the staff at your kids' school—

Pietro: Whether that be elementary school, high school, or university, and the parent's group and student's union—

Quinn: Yes. And the mayor and city council, and those shaping provincial policy, probably they Premier...

Pietro: And its your bank and the department store and the community garden and farmer's market. It's everything, everywhere. This sign is hanging in nearly all public spaces at this point. Almost anywhere with a wall or poll on which to pin or tape it. And everyone knows exactly what it means.

Pietro: Right. Everyone is happy to play along. If the sign was making a true statement — and wasn't a weird, covert pledge of allegiance to bigotry not admonishment of it — it would read: "ALL FORMS OF BIGOTRY WELCOME."

Quinn: And the fine print would read: "So long as your bigotry is directed appropriately."

Pietro: "See staff for appropriate bigotry orientation."

Quinn: That's funny.

Pietro: I guess I'm saying I'm not for "safe spaces" in any form. Never have been. I think it's bullshit. It cuts against all of psychology and biology and everything folks profess to care about. And what is weirder that safe spaces that make no attempt to be that?

Quinn: Sure. One's physical and mental well-being hinges upon exposure.

Pietro: It does. And, wanting to control, or thinking you can or should or, god forbid, need to control everything and everyone, or that that would be a good thing, is the real problem needing to be addressed. And, while this is all happening, society has become unrecognizably safe; and on almost any metric you can find.

Quinn: Right. So, if you feel unsafe it is most certainly not because there is a new or particularly potent source of real danger but probably due to a lack of normal, healthy exposure to the normal, healthy world — that is deeply, profoundly controlled, rendered about as safe as imaginable.

Pietro: Right. The water has been filtered and it has been chlorinated and it arrives at room temperature. And then it has been run through reverse osmosis and twice distilled. And then it has been boiled and left to sit until cool. And then you're out here acting like scaldings, waterborne illness, and even in-home drownings are not merely possible and never so bad as today but inevitable and a threat to us all so long as plumbing exists. Or something.

Quinn: Or something.